What are you telling the world?

Today, I'm talking about meta-communication and how it relates to keeping you safe.  In self defense terms, meta-communication is everything you put out to the world without trying to actively communicate it.  Things like body language, tone of voice, etc. are part of this.  Are you actually projecting the information you want?

For example, a guy is trying to get you in the monkey dance.  You're telling him to back off and that you don't want to fight, but you're saying it loud and angry and your fists are clenched.  While you may be saying the right things, you're actually communicating that you are ready to fight.  To calm down a situation, you need to try to be calm yourself.  A softer tone and open hands won't make you less able to defend.

What about when you're not fighting?  What do you project to the world when you're just walking around or hanging out somewhere?  How do predators see you?  Much like in the wild, predators tend to go for the weakest appearing prey.  After all, everything is a cost/benefit analysis.  If there's a decent chance that this person will fight back and the predator might lose or get hurt bad, they'll probably look for an easier one.  What can you do to be a Hard Target?

1. Pay attention: An aware target is one that might see the attack coming and call for help, run, or otherwise be ready.

2. Get in shape: If you look like you can fight back or run fast, a predator is more likely to choose an easier target.

3. Wear clothes you can move in: The fact is, you won't be running anywhere in heels, nor will you with pants sagging around your thighs, not to mention the issues if you need to fight.  If you're going to wear clothes that hinder your movement, make sure to be in a group.

The more you can tip the cost/benefit analysis in your favor, the harder a target you will be.

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The Monkey Dance

What is the Monkey Dance?
Before the fight happens, there's often an obvious build up.  Arguing gets louder, postures get better, and phrases like "You want some?!" and "Do something!" start appearing.  The Monkey Dance is the pre-fight psych up that people do to show how tough they are to you and everyone around.

When the Monkey Dance goes wrong.

How do we handle it?

First, keep as cool and friendly as possible while getting in your fence.  "Talk" with your hands.  Treat the situation like a misunderstanding or otherwise not a big deal, but in a genuine, not condescending, manner.  Don't give them a way to mentally justify hitting you.  If things do escalate, you want to be the obvious good guy.  Perhaps the crowd, if they have no connection to the assailant, will even jump in on your side as shown in the video (unlikely) or they may just tell the police that the other guy started everything and you just defended yourself.  Basically, treat the situation as if a video of it will be played back to a judge, because it just might!

Why don't we get involved?
Not because we're better than them or it's the martial way or some BS like that.  The deal is that if you return the hostility, you consent to fighting.  That's how the law and everyone watching will see it, regardless of who is really the ass or who swings first.  If you escalate the situation at all, you go to jail too.

www.acwafw.com